personally mine.

2009-11-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

so its my fault again?

why is the world just all revolved around you.
can you just be more understanding?

guys and their fucking ego. argh.

2009-10-15T06:22:00.003+08:00

the most sociable pple are the most dangerous creature on earth.
im f angry with you for exposing my feelings to others.
it was meant to be a secret if you f did not realise it.

maybe these f pple need to be taught a f-ing lesson.
please treat others seriously.

bcos when i thought i could trust in you,
you shouldnt break me aparrt just like that.

i hate you.
i hate promises.
& thats why i've lost the faith.
i've lost the faith to tell anyone anything.

but just so you know,
im over him.
bcos i was just a foolish retarded stupid fool
as always.

FUCK YOU.

2008-12-29T17:59:00.003+08:00

i love exercising wheeeeee(:
somehow it just makes me feel so much bettter after that. & so i shall not be lazy anymore and exercise more! =D yayy!
i ran pretty long today. almost an hour. took my usual route and then i told myself that i should try to run longer. so i took another route, i turned left instead of right. and then i just came running all the way and i tried running back and halfway i got lost. in the end i had to turn about which looked kind of retarded cos i literally ran into a dead end. oh wells, thank god not many pple were there. heh.
then i stepped onto the weighing scare and WOOHOO. i lost about 0.5kg. hee.

anyhow. i went for an interview this morning. and i realised that actually i could have answered some questions better. sigh. i should always think through properly before i get into an interview bcos im always so muddle headed and im always forgetting my stuffs. BRENDA ):

yesterday was a pretty interesting day. alot of things happened which made me think of a lot of other stuff. im just glad im not as bothered about that thing anymore. sometimes we should really learn to let go.

tomorrow brings an end to today.

2008-12-27T13:33:00.002+08:00

there's something wrong with my internal clock. i keep waking up at 11am. HMMMM. maybe its cos im used to nepal time cos that'll make it 830am there. haha. oh wells. the other sg tour group's probably having fun there right now. arhhs.

sometimes i'd rather not hope.
maybe i should just leave things as it is.
maybe that's how it's all suppose to be anyway.
am i being over sensitive.
or maybe it wasnt suppose to be at all.
maybe i'm just being foolish
stupid.

2008-12-26T00:19:00.001+08:00

sigh. what a world.
what are friends for anyway.

):

2008-12-24T14:00:00.002+08:00

i'm back from nepal and im missing it terribly.
I LOVE NEPAL. all of us do.
SIGH. and plus we had a cute guide that yingwah was crazy over (AHEM) haha. oh wells.
im definitely returning back there again. to climb one of the mountains this time.
but first. i'll have to train up first.
ANYBODY INTERESTED? hee. please look for me so we can go train up together ):
lol.

the first day we reached there we got quite a shock bcos the country was yeah. kind of low down and dirty and all that. esp when i stepped into the toilet. haha. at that time i just wanted the 8 days to just fly by so i could get back to the comforts of singapore. but then we soon got to experience and love the country. it's just so untouched, so original. so pretty. especially the landscapes. rafting and boating through the mountains. SIGH. trekking up to the stupa and to those schools.

OH. and we are so gonna set up our own NGO. but yeah. we should start small first. hahaha. im gonna sign up as a volunteer! anybody interested could come join me, visit the website www.ccf.org.sg (children cancer foundation)

OH WELLS. NEPAL! ):

2008-12-10T23:04:00.002+08:00

im feeling so sad for AJ prom bcos the more i hear from other schools. i just think aj prom was quite boring... okay actually it was reallllyyy boring.
bcos firstly there was NO DANCE. not like other schools that even went for after prom (when we are already LEGAL) we had no dance, no dance at all. not even at the hotel itself.
and then it was sooo long. it ate into our clubbing time and we didnt club. haha. i just thought it was too draggy. and the "games" we played werent even fun at all. it doesnt even involve us. ayys. what the heck. its over. im just happy to see eveyrone all dressed up and that's already a good memory to keep. but thanks anyway i know people did put in effort for us.(:

anywayy! i think today is damn fufilling.
we went to sentosa to sun tan but it was rather cloudy. BUT we still got burnt. lol. unknowingly. i only realised now bcos im feeling hot and hot. haha. and im looking red. and then we thought that the card allowed us access to sentosa the whole day so we foolishly went to vivo for lunch thinking that it was cheaper and ended up not being able to re-enter sentosa. HAHA. joke. but so we decided to do something else instead...

we climbed mount faber

haha. i love climbing actually i dont know why.though its tiring. but i just like it. it makes me feel satisfied. heh. we reached the peak!! its called FABER POINT. hahah. and then we decided to go to henderson waves. the new long long bridge that looks like a wave. haha. and then we found a nice spot to just sit down and rest. heh. super relaxing. whee. walked down again. and got misleaded by the two people again. (okay never ever follow their directions even when they say they know the way. LIARS!) haha. ended up taking a bus back to where we started again.
quite amazing actually. we walked alot today(:
i like!
i should go climb more mountains.

YAY TO US!

2008-12-04T14:32:00.003+08:00

sigh. my dear 50 dollars. why did you fly away!
argh.
it's the second time im losing money. i dont know why. im just damn careless. argh.
how can i just let it FLY away like that. sigh.
im not going back to that place anymore. haha.
and even if i do. im not sitting at that place where the fan is blowing. and im not gonna let my money fly away.
so now im gonna save up. im gonna stay at home the whole entire week.
im not going for kbox. im not gonna pub. im not gonna club.
i'll just stay at home and pack for my trip and study for my BTT.
and of course. im not gonna SHOP.
DEPRESSING!

i should really focus on getting a job to feed my expenditure. mummy's already complaining. haha. and i got rejected yesterday cos of my stupid trip! which i really regret going cos it's really expensive. but what the heck. i'll enjoy it to the very last bit so that i dont waste that money. hopefully it'll be nice! thees.
NEPAL NEPAL NEPAL!

2008-10-10T14:56:00.002+08:00

it's farewell already.
so fast so soon.
how time flies.

from the first time we met in j1 till right now.
as said by some of them "Fate brought us together"
i guess pretty much so.
i love my class! i love 26(:
& all our wonderful teachers.
which includes ms in bcos i think probably she's really sad to see us like this.
but the thing is she still hasnt gotten to really know us well.
& she's always doing things based on her "zi jue"
but anyhow she said her piece today.
& she gave us parker pens encraved with our names on it & words of great wisdom
i think she means well. actually, no, i know she means well.

i guess sometimes its always better to look at things on the more positive note. rather than be bothered by the nitty gritty nehneh stuffs. that probably would make us sadder.

and my class sabo-ed me to take a picture with toh!i was damn maluated bcos it was so obvious. i guess he knows already lahh! ahh. but nevermind. im grateful for them too! now i have a photo to keep! heh. and we'll probably not see each other again.

ANYHOW.

now it's time to show them what we're worth.
go 26!
we'll get straight A's!

2008-09-13T11:08:00.002+08:00

omg. im blogging bcos i just heard that tj oac's undergoing major changes.
and it's just damn sad to know that. bcos oac has made such a great impact on my life. i cant BEAR to watch it just go away like that and people will not have the opportunity to undergo this great experience like WE did.

AHH OAC!!!

its just all the tough trainings and torture that makes us so strong and united. all the punishments and punctuality and seriousness that we were finally trained to accomplish mountains. and it was and definitely OAC that made me realise how much more there is to this world then studying. there are like mountains out there to explore. AHH. and it was definitely OAC that made me so much fitter now.

like despite all 4 years in cedar tennis i could only clock 15mins plus for 2.4km and die and just 2/3 months in oac that my timing just dropped down to 13 minutes! and and and. oh my gosshh. how much respect we had for the seniors and all our good buddies. and.... SIGH. running in the rain with our heavy backpacks filled with sand and water. up those slopes, how we were always shouted at to "CLOSE THE GAPS!" how we sang and cheered during our trainings and in the mountains. how we were forced to run 400m within 2 mins if not run again. and and and.... how i felt before each training, even taking glucose so that i can endure the training. how we used to climb how many floors? 26 with those heavy backpacks within 3 minutes? how yong used to help me and gave me so much encouragesments. how we 3 girls had to do those pull ups. OMG.

just when i had a dream that i climbed a mountain.

wthh. please dont make oac undergo such a major reformation. I MISS OAC ): poor eug & everyone else must have went through tonnes to save the club.
people should actually learn from them. OAC!!

stupid brenda why did you leave!

2008-09-01T23:43:00.003+08:00

aaaaccchooooooooo!
i just got back from mugging session with wahh & xiang. & now i have a cold.
the library was tooo cold. rahh!
anyway. i thought i saw my tj classmates there.
then again. i dont know.lol.
sighh. i miss my life.

2008-09-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

People step in and out of our lives.
they take away abit of us, and give us some of themselves.
some add new things into our lives, some brighten them up, some ruin.
some brings us laughter, joy. some brings us pain, sadness.

it's nice to think of the past once in a while.
& i realised how much i've changed bcos of the people around me.
how much you have changed me.

sigh. why do people change
why do i feel like you're not the same anymore.
where are you my dear! pls tell me there's still some part of you there.
&that its not all been taken away.

2008-08-31T01:12:00.002+08:00

whee.i just came back from movie with my cousins. Wall-E (x
i think it's nice! you should go watch it. & it quite scary how the not-so-distant future may be like. arhh. hopefully we dont go in that direction!
& I guess love just makes the world go round!
heh.

things are much better now! though its the "mugging" period. but i STILL dont have the mood to.haha. but i guess and i really REALLY hope that things will still go okay after all. oh wells. yes. i'll make sure this holidays wont go to waste. i will study okay!! hah.

i'm just gonna blog about some random stuffs. like my day after econs essay paper. i really had a great time with the guitar pple and fang and just talking about stuffs. & those deep insights with HuiLi. i think its nice to just sit at glorias and enjoy our nice cheap $3 coffee ice blend and talk about people. lol.(it's not all about gossiping ok!) about our future like us wanting (okay, not exactly WANT but more of a NEED to) go overseas to study bcos the sg universities dont offer whatever we're interested in. haha. and its just nice to take a break from this hectic life to talk about LIFE and how things are... how people behave.. rahhs. interesting(: & i really feel so much better after that day.

sometimes all we need is a break from our busy schedules.
so YOU mugging hard there. have a break! (have a kit kat!)
just call someone up to talk. or just go down for a walk or watch tv for a while.
mugging isnt gonna get you no where.
work-life-balance.
yes.thats the way.

2008-08-26T11:02:00.003+08:00

so many things have happened. which just adds on to how terrible this year has been.

but i suddenly dawned upon many things that i've neglected all these eighteen years of my life. How much i've wasted each day of my life. when studies was once such an important, probably the most important thing in my life. all the effort that i've put in but now i've just lost it all. but i have much better things to accomplish in life than just studying and i'm going to make sure i'll live life so much more fruitful now.

first it was my uncle at alexandra hospital. i can still remember the first time i went to visit him, how fragile he seemed and how everyone was so worried about him. and even to the extent that the doctor had told us to be prepared and let things go naturally. and how he would always pull out that tube they inserted into his stomach through his nose and then they would bleed after that and we had to tie him down to his bed. and then he became better each day, he played with us, although he couldnt speak, i know he could sense the love everyone had showered upon him. and his facial expressions always showed how he was feeling. (which many of us have lost the ability to just express our emotions out freely, hidding it deep inside us) and his hands grabbing tightly onto the toys we bought for him. he's just very much like a small boy. i guess that's the innocence of man without facing all these complexities in life. and then came his operation which caused him an infection and he even had to be isolated for fear of spreading some virus. and that time my mother was so worried for us that she desanitised all our belongings there. arhh. and now he's fully recovered and back at woodbridge and even able to enjoy at least his pleasure in life, of eating.

and then just a few days later my grandfather met with an accident. and now he's hospitalised cos he had a brain haemarrhage operation which could have led to much worst consequences if we hadnt send him to the hospital that night. but its just saddening to see how someone who was so strong and fit suddenly lying on the bed and being unable to move. he used to cycle to parts of singapore, he used to go all the way to wherever just to get us nice food and to buy nitty gritty groceries and even brought it to our doorsteps. and now, he has difficulty even lifting his leg. and fears of being unable to move after all this while laying on bed. it's scary how things in life can go through such drastic changes in just a split second.

for one, we've been through much misfortunes. but on the other, i'm just glad that things have always worked out well. and how "lucky" we actually were for all these things have happened that at least it didnt turn out with worse consequences. and i really cannot imagine them happening. but i thank god for that for blessing our family so much. and for having such a wonderful family that have been so supportive of each other. and i realised how important family was. that even though things have not turned out well, they were still so optimistic and not letting this turn them down. and being there for my grandfather and my uncle, for everyone, each day.

& i'm just hoping, wishing please let him recover. let him be that strong fit grandfather of mine. give him the strength to face all these obstacles and the mental strength to get well soon. i'm sure he'll be able to do it. i'm sure he can.

2008-08-11T01:13:00.001+08:00

haha. the internet's such an incredible tool.

& it has just wasted hours of precious studying time. ahh.what the heck!
but nvm. im still feeling happy.
it's time worth spending. hahaha.

okay. (if you know what i mean.)

2008-08-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

The days i visited singapore again

haha. doesnt he remind you of that funny boy on those spam emails and shirts!

she's hott.(& willingly posed for me) haha.

she wanted to be on the camera!

my cousins and taiwan relatives(:

& we were pretending to be sleeping on the train.

haha. chin's favourite!

it crawled onto her!

2008-08-10T23:46:00.002+08:00

oh my i just woke up from those sweet dreams.
and its really time i should.
BRENDA! sighh.

why oh why! have i lost all my motivation to study. what kept me going all theeesee years. i cantt CANNOT no way am gonna give up now.
but!! what happened! rahhhs. brendaa. BOO. there's only 2 more weeks left!

anyway. i'm blogging right now after so long bcos i need some time to reflect! heh. if not i'll just be stoning forever.
i think my darlings are still the best. i just feel so nicee with them. heh.
after sooo long, thats what jc turns us into, busy prigs, we meeting up less and less often nowadays. but we finally got together! whee(: haha. and even though i could only stay there for a while i just felt so muchh better after that! heh. yay i love them to bits.

& now i guess i just gotta get back to studying again. ):

2008-07-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

my paternal family and the one of the countless photos taken for the 2 graduate cousins (: heh.

i know this is pretty late but hey famine family! (:

cousin's birthday celebration

& yeahh.. we're REALLY getting older each year.

2008-07-06T23:06:00.004+08:00

i'm aching all over. oh m god. im dying. i cant even walk properly i cant even stand up properly. i seriously think im getting old. just cos i went for the interhouse games and now my whole body achess! ): and my toothache is back again. stupid stubborn wisdom tooth. )x

anyway! my condo has disgusting worms. its like leaf monsters.

& i wonder how they got into this state. probably ate too much leaves till their stomaches had no space that the leaves had to come out of them. or maybe eating the spores or something and then little trees grew out of their stomaches. that'll be cool. means if they were hungry they could just eat straight from their bodies cos like this they'd be carrying endless supply on what they feed on. lol. haha. and i wonder if this would happen to humans too. like if we ate too much burgers, we'd be looking like walking burgers. haha. omg.

then again. it's DISGUSTING. erkks.

anyhow. i think im a lucky girl. i went for jap buffet today and had coffee bean after that. i dont knowi just feel i should be really glad of what i have now(: which then brings me to satisfaction. bcos i really think sometimes we're just never satisfied with what we already have.

there's been lots of construction works going on. as much as it may be for the better of our country i just think this whole thing about developing and competing amongst countries and improving of out lifestyles will bound to destroy earth one day.bcos we arent satisfied with what we already have and bcos they are always trying to reach our satisfaction levels, these developments will go on and on and on and on. so when will it stop? when one day we finally run out of resources to build more things? and then it just feels like we're all just being selfish bcos really when we're using these resources, we're depriving others of it. which could ultimately mean the poorer nations. ahh. blahh. why cant we just live with what we have until one day it really gets to a bad enough state. why are we getting rid of what can still be used for years on..?

ahh whatever.. and i so the trees by the road are getting killed as roads are developed.

just to make our lives easier...

2008-06-29T12:31:00.002+08:00

THEYR'E OVER OVER OVER!!

WHEE!(: haha. but now i've to chiong my gp which i havent started. ahhs! okay okay i must be a good girl.
&when school starts again tmr i bet they're gonna make us more miserable again.
but its okay. we'll enjoy for now :D

2008-06-19T22:18:00.002+08:00

okay. i am soooo sick of studying.

i know its the last week. what the heck.
but i have no mood to study at alll lah.
i think im worse off now than the previous few weeks. haha.
it doesn't feel like its MYEs on monday.
it just feels like a school re-open day. heh.
but i kinda miss school.. i know im weird. but it beats staying at home & butt stuck on my chair studying. BLOOH. so no life.

&here i am killing those small little ants that are INVADING my precious study table. rahhs!

haha. okay. i told myself in famine camp that i was going to blog all about it. but i just couldnt find the time to. i have sooo much to say i cant finish it today so i'll leave the whole "deep thoughts aka reflection" thing for later. i just kinda thought about alot of things during the camp.
just konw that we're all really lucky. and that.. actually i can do so much more. i feel like im wasting my life away.
if you get what i mean.
I WANT TO DO SO MUCH MORE.
and really i'll make sure i will do it.
:D yay.

haha. oh my oh my. i need to spam the piano.
& i need to get rid of the freaking MYEs.

2008-06-14T00:02:00.001+08:00

it's good to catch up with your past! with your good old friends and find back some memory.
so that you dont lose track of who you were and what you are now.
and to make sure that life goes on and nothing
nothing gets left behind.

we'll move on together! (:

2008-06-12T23:13:00.003+08:00

sometimes the closest people to you are actually the ones who you dont know well enough.
i dont know.i guess im just someone who isnt prone to initiate conversations and all.i dont easily tell everyone about my stuffs. i dont easily show my concerns. i dont know. is it just me. am i just cold hearted. i really really dont know.

i just suddenly thought of all my family members. like how many years ive been with them. and that i actually dont know much about them at all. and then i thought of my auntie who has been taking care of me for like 17years like my second mother. and how little i actually speak to her. arhh! im useless.

& as im listening to the radio now. i realise how stupid some songs are like they spell out some freaking weird word and so am i sppose to try to figure out what it means? haha. and the one on what you dont know my name. oh yeah sure.. and they like to include weird sounding stuff.
sigh NOWADAYS.

2008-06-07T21:22:00.002+08:00

i realised my previous few posts were all emo and i dont know. hahaha. and i havent been blogging properly! i've just been feeling lazy the past few days. heee. &yeah. i was busy. (i think!)
haha. anyway i realised that i was suppose to do my gp essay outlines and that i've been stuck on it since day 1 like everytime i log onto the comp with the excuse of doing my gp but i always end up not doing it. hahaha.okay but i did research okay! it's just that the results that i get are alwasy not what i want and so it ends up with as if i did nothing at all bcos i didnt manage to get any credible points. until today i just totally dont feel like doing it anymore. so hecks! haha. i shall just concentrate on my mugging ;D

and guys! we're only left with the last two weeks to study!!!!!
so it's now or never. and considering that i still got famine camp next week. ahhh! why did i sign up for it! sigh- ohwells. i'd better make use of the time left to finish up my studying! i havent even touched a single of the revision paper okay. yes hopeless. but nvm. i'll catch up! i'd better..

i've been exercising everyday. i stuck to my daily routine (only applicable on weekdays) to go jog everyday & everyday i step on the weighing machine and guess whattttttttttt! i'm actually getting HEAVIER!!!! which is making me damn sad now. cos its not like ive been binging and lazing around! after all the running and all the cut down on snacks and food and im not getting any lighterrr! )x & worse still getting heavierrr!
yalahhh! thats why im damn miserable now. i feel like just waking up the next day and seeing my weight go down like 5kg or something. arhh. someone help meeee! why am i not losing these stubborn fats! bleah.

please let me lose some weight! ):

2008-06-07T04:33:00.000+08:00

the end of guitar SL.

2008-06-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

2008-05-29T21:32:00.002+08:00

i'll live life in anticipation
so there's something i'm always looking for.
something i want in my life.

&at least i can look forward to that moment.

2008-05-27T21:50:00.002+08:00

I DID IT I DID IT! i went to the gym and i ran 5km! hahaha

I DID IT.
so stop suaning me jeremy toh sumo! >.<

YAY!

anyway i was sppose to stay in the library to finish up my AP,GP den this group of guys came and just sat at the table without asking and the person who sat beside me smelt of ciggs. it was like choking me. so i decided to just go. haha. besides, i was stuck in the corner so it was damn weird. haha. so i just packed up and left when the guy who sat beside me walked away. lol. argh they spoilt my plans! but nvm. i'll still finish it up tonight. yay to the muggers! haha. we never seem to complete what we plan to do! but nvm. haha. 'm sure we're still on track somehow.

&so our goal: to finish all the practice papers we have until we have no more practice papers to do! ;D

and invitation to all:
DIM SUM BUFFET AT PENINSULAR THIS THURSDAY! 1130AM- 230PM
$ 11.80++

its a pretty weird. i dont know why im doing all these too! argh.

2008-05-27T11:55:00.002+08:00

the stupid gym is packed with pple and so i cant go and exercise.

OHMYGOD. i need to get workingggg! )x

2008-05-26T20:58:00.002+08:00

sometimes we're all so busy that we fail to realise things around us.
sometimes we're all too selfish that we've neglected those beside us.
sometimes we're all too bothered that we've even lost ourselves.

sometimes.. we should just slow down our steps, stop and look again.
where is everyone? what is it that we're really pursueing for? where's our dreams? what's life?

why am i working so hard for?

&I believe there are reasons behind everything
there's is a purpose.
to life.

2008-05-23T20:50:00.002+08:00

perhaps you dont know what your words can do to a person or rather you are such an insensitive prig. all i know is that you dont know me well enough. and you have no right to judge who i am. (: and i pretty much know who i am myself and i can say that im not whatever fake or shit stuffs. im just being who i am and who i want to be.
bleahh.

econs paper 2 ended already. a huge load down. i know i didnt do well bcos i couldnt rmb whatever i memorised so it was pretty much like a crapping paper. but then again somehow i just dont feel like ive done badly (not that its cos i think i did ok) but rather i think its cos i kinda grew quite immune to the whole exam thing. like it didnt mean as much as it used to be to me anymore. i think im just quite sick of the whole education thing. but arhhhs. whatever this isnt the time to stop and slack. im still going to make sure that i do well for the other papers. especially for sciences. and i must make sure my organic chem improves. i must i know i can and i will. and so can you!
heh. so today we had a mini class outing. we went to eat breakfast and sat at some random place in amk hub but got chased away by the security guard after that bcos its like an illegal gathering. but yeah. we still went somewhere else and sit down to eat. haha. outside of amk hub to be exact. then after that we went to catch a movie. "Made of Honour" yeah. it was a pretty nice movie. and i shall not elaborate (: after that we went to ntuc to get fruits for ceph and also bought sushi for ourselves! =D haha. den we went to cepheus house to slack. wheeee! haha. his house is damn relaxing like it just soothes our soul cos of the peeing boy.lol. & after that i went for a RUN!! yay

sigh.somehow i just think that all this thing is damn wrong. i want to tell you but i just cant bring myself to bcos i really dont know if it being like this would be better. but i just hope that maybe... you're right and i'm wrong.it's too scary to think about it.

2008-05-20T23:12:00.001+08:00

this person is making me think alot.
"dont try to fake your personality. if that's who you are. just leave be."

and im damn confused now bcos i know im anti-social and yet i can be sociable too. but it all really depends. but the thing is really! am i unsociable or sociable!
and if im unsociable and yet i act sociable i think thats damn fake and disgusting.

all i know.. is that i know im unsociable. but i want to be sociable.
im not going to lead an unsociable life. thats gonna be damn miserable.
but who knows me really...

2008-05-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

I CANT STAND IT. WHY CANT I DOWNLOAD MSN MESSENGER! and now i have to resort to using msn WEB messenger which lags. and i dont wanna use the stupid windows messenger cos it looks old and un cool. haha. RAHH. this is damn irritating.

I WANT MY MSN MESSENGER! anyway i think this laptop is cocked up already. and i spent my fifty dollars capital land voucher to repair it. ARGH! i could have spent it on something else better. like clothes. hahahah. okay. im deprived of shopping lah! i want to buy that topshop blouse but eugenia dont let ): and i want my vagary watch!! i hope mummy gets it for me. hee (x

I JUST CAME BACK FROM A RUN! yayness. but i had super bad stitch bcos idiot chow insisted that we go run at 830 and so i didnt had time to digest my food. and now im like burping out my dinner. i can taste some chicken rice and magnum ice cream. oh ya. which is why i went jogging bcos i ate MAGNUM CHOC. lol. and i saw the nutrtion label and it had 30g of FAT. disgusting. hopefully i lost it all away with that run. though it was a short wan. i but i think it was at least 2km. but cos both of us had stitches so we decided to stop. and i did 5o sit ups. and we slacked.

chow told me something about this northa-something guy that predicts that the world is going to end in 2012 and that before the world comes to an end there wound be alot of natural disasters like cyclone nargis and sichuan earthquake and that before the world ends there'll be a third anti-christ leader and that its rumoured to be obama. which freaked me out even more bcos... 2012 is like only what 4 more years? I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO ENDD ): and if its gonna end just let me quit school now and enjoy life.

haha. but i think chow's just faking me. he's full of nonsense. bleahhhhhs!
and today! i finished my yellow book. but i hope i can still remember whatever i read bcos i totally cannot be bothered to go memorise. though i can rmb bits and pieces here and there. like protectionism advantages 1. protect infant indus 2.prevent dumping 3.maintain employment and safeguard interest 4........................ and so i cant rmb. okay.
so that means!!!

BRENDA ITS TIME TO MUG!

whee. haha. BYE (:

2008-05-14T21:35:00.002+08:00

me and terry cleared 4 bags of rubbish from the guitar room today. & we revamped the whole concept. yeah man. we rock. THANK YOU TERRY! (:

周杰倫Jay Chou - 不能说的秘密 Secret 路小雨 Lu Xiao Yu (Soundtrack)

2008-05-13T20:50:00.001+08:00

四手联弹

2008-05-13T20:49:00.001+08:00

2008-05-04T22:42:00.001+08:00

OOO WHHEEEEE YAYYY.

2008-04-17T23:22:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx TRYY.

2008-04-13T20:54:00.002+08:00

i've failed.

2008-04-03T23:58:00.003+08:00

haha.i'm feeling so bombarded that i'm gonna blog and hopefully i will feel much better after all the ranting. bleawhehshahhh.

its been like in me for ages.
jc life is just so crammed up you hardly have time for anything else. it's pretty amazing why i'm still awake at this time bcos ive been falling asleep early almost every single day without fail. its damn irritating cos i know i have tonnes of work but everytime i start work i doze off. and i feel so useless. i seriously think im gonna screw up my a levels at the rate im going right now.

everyday its school -> guitar -> home
school , guitar, home.
its getting quite frustrating.
and the workload is piling and piling AND PILING.
i just cant wait for the concert to be over. not that i dread it or anything. i realllyyy want it to be a success. i want it to rock more than....... and i want true applause and cheers from the crowd for all the hard work that everyone has put in.
omg i cantttt wait. 3 weeks. GUITAR MUST JIA YOUU! we're all in this together (:

if only i could write the pages of my life.

2007-12-06T09:54:00.000+08:00

WHEE. OGL workshop is over over over! haha. but i think it was fun(:
yay to ODIN. yay to BRONO. haha. now its left with the last day of the workshop 28th Dec and TADAHH. ORIENTATION TIME! haha.
bang bang choo choo train.
ODIN IS THE BEST.
and brono will be too! heh.

my voice is kuku okay. it sounds damn disgusting i dont like. boo.
but i want to eat my durian crepe STILL. okay. i dont care. im gonna buy it later! woots!
im spposed to go do my hair but i dont know when im free man. and i havent started packing for my trip! =x and and and. i still need to go do photograph experimenting. and i need to see the ear doctor. and collect my passport. omg. im so bad at managing my time! )x and and still got guitar stuffs to settle.
okay. -dead-

homework check!
only P&C tutorial done.
shit.

2007-12-02T21:20:00.001+08:00

BORING.
life's damn boring cos im stuck at home with nothing to do.
i keep watching those drama serials. haha.
i just dont want to touch those disgusting homework. too much for me to think about. it scares me. stupid aj. likes to torture people. sigh.
but anyway. i have OGL camp tmr till WED. that'll keep me busy.
RAHH. i think i actually made a wrong choice. i should be putting in more attention in my cca.
i will. yeah.. I WILL...

WELCOME BACK YINGWAH! haha.
i wanted to go welcome you back that day but it was too late for me. heh.
can you please go get your camera so that we can go out on photography outings? heh. i want to. i want to.

STANDARD CHARTERED MARATHON.
muahahhs. i went for that today.
and i earned $50! bcos i helped my cousin's friend in some job. to take down the number of pple wearing adidas shoes.
and believe me there's ALOT. i never stared at so many feets for so long man. haha.
but i think it was fun being there.
to witness all of them tired pple. i was looking out for my brother who dumbly ran the full 42km marathon. i think 42k is damn crazy. bcos we walked for 18km and we already complain so much. haha. its madness lahh. some actually finished it in 2hours plus. CRAZY.
haha. but they are all damn fit. i wonder how much effort they put into training for this day.
oh wells. i kind of admire them.
bcos i just cant put myself to even go downstairs for a jog.
so now im getting my tummy. BOOOOOHOOOOO.
you know what. i shall go lose some weight.
haha. but i always say this but end up not doing it.
WE WILL SEE.

anyhow im leaving on the 12th decemember.
i should start getting things done. hmm.

2007-11-28T17:17:00.000+08:00

haha. class chalet ends today. but oh wells. i came back earlier! haha. like last night. i was getting too itchy. heh. stupid skin. dont know whether its sunburn or rashes. but its much better now i guess. heh. =D

CLASS CHALET. 26th-28th NOV. was suppose to go check in at 230 but i was feeling lazy so i didnt want to go too early. (i had guitar in the morning okay!) yupps. so i slacked at home for a while watching my korean drama. whee. den i left at about 4 plus 5 i think. yeah. by the time i reached there it was like 6 plus already... there wasnt much things to do there and i brought the wrong plugs so we couldnt play PS. lol. so we played guitar and all that and den went for our dinner! whee. thats when i saw my cousin and my fellow tj oac orientation campmate who quited oac and ps-ed us! >.< and still dare to wear that oac shirt! tskk. haha. alrights. so we had dinner and walked around. went to arcade with them for a while and they started playing the bball game. and bishi bashi and the photo thingy! heh. when hoiting says she is noob at bishii bashii know that she is lying to you. haha. glen likes to look at obscene parts of those disgusting pictures where the faults only he stares hard enough to realise. haha. okay kidding (:
so the entire night we were playing guitar and DDR. i was learning how to play tears in heaven as taught by jeremy. haha. den the guys (huang & justin) started the whole taupok-ing thing and started raping all of us. lol. they like literally carried each victim up to the bedroom cover them up and then taupok them. grosss RIGHT. thats them. haha. i know i said i didnt want to sleep and all that but i ended up the one sleeping. haha. at least i woke up in the end i joined them the rest of the night okay. but i still slept abit in the end lah. heh. they were playing mahjong and ps and i had nothing left to do what. haha. i only remembered sleeping and jeremy and glen playing the ps kept commenting on how pro and zai they were. my gosh.
after that we woke up at around 7 plus i think cos hoiting and jeremy and jocelyn had to go to school so we went for breakfast together! den went back to chalet and everyone else was sleeping. ayys. stoned till i dont know when and played boring mahjong cos we couldnt make too much noise and all that. haha. den me and chin heard snoring and we were trying to figure out who it was and ahemm. yupp. i shall not be mean. haha.
after that they tried rushing for 11am macs breakfast.
nelson is damn weird. he eats his pancake with garlic chilli and he claims its damn nice. lol. gerald is evil cos he made me eat his fries which added some grams on me. tskk! haha. after that went arcade again...
when we finally got back to chalet desiree and char and me and chin and gerald started playing mahjong again. haha. and i think we played for damn long until we went for our ice cream waffle break. which is damn damn damn horrible. mygosh. we were all regretting not eating gelare considering that it was HALF PRICE TUESDAY! argh. ohwells. haha. went back to chalet and played more mahjong. thats when we all got noisy and loud but fun. haha. i love peng-ing and me and char make a good noob team. lol. went out for dinner after that. the kopitiam food is so yucky im not going to eat there anymore eeyerr. and next time whoever orders pizza for the class would be smart enough not to order 4 medium pizzas. lesson learnt for the poor hungry ones! heh.

and den at night i went home while they were polar bear-ing. (:
i finally finish my surgeon show. next shall be huan huan ai! lol. oh. i should stop eating cos i cant stop eating whenever im at home. RAHH. i bet i gained back those lost pounds )x and now im really too lazy to exercise anymore. im such a pig. boohoo.

2007-11-24T11:52:00.000+08:00

WE KAYAKED
EIGHTY EIGHT KILOMETRES IN FOUR LONG DREADFUL DAYS.

lol. i miss them quite abit. haha.

& our 5 guidelines!

2007-11-23T15:39:00.000+08:00

my 9 days experience. it made my life more interesting. haha.
so here it goes.

day1
it was raining that day and everything got kind of depressing. i was pretty much afraid the whole course was gonna be as droopy as it was that day and i couldnt much imagine kayaking in the rain and all that. so rahh-ish. oh wells. when we got to pulau ubin and stepped into that room. realised that the MJ side pple were all from odac except for some others. So they splitted us up into our various watches and it was so weird cos our watch was Tock Seng and it sounded damn cheena and weird then i thought at least the other watches might have weird chinese names like ours but apparently not. haha. Elizabeth, Washington and Nehru. Oh wells. but Tock Seng is just as fine. heh. So we got to know each other better and went to our dorms all that. so happy that they had clean toilets and TOILET PAPER. hahaa. which meant i could shit properly without worrying. den went for lunch and after lunch had our kayaking training for epedition. and i shall not elaborate on that.

day 2
we had our kayak 3 course which was like trying out our kayaks for expedition. the amaruks and crosswinds. went through channel crossing, mass capsizing and everything. it was much tiring but that was only a small portion of the whole expedition and we were all like damn scared.

day 3
we rested for the day. mainly used it to prepare for our expedition the next day. i hate packing i tell you. i always get stressed with packing stuffs and when the time is so short. we packed till damn late like 12 plus 1 and den got rushed to sleep by the instructors. den it was the dreadful day.

day4
we kayaked off to our first destination which was SAF YATCH CLUB. it was a long tiring trip okay. and i had damn bad motion sickness i started puking. my poor partner had to kayaked for me so much throughout the whole trip bcos of my dumb sea sickness but i think my partner is damn strong. she's super pro okay like i think she never stopped kayaking at all. admire! thankyou so much! okay. so we kayaked pretty much and were all damn tired and just when we were about to reach out destination we met very strong currents. we were sppose to aim for some yellow boyle in the far distant and we kayaked for like dont know how many hours den realised that we were not getting any nearer to it. and just when we started feeling weird and all oh wells. things happened. the fleet was separated. the current stong, and there was this tanker heading towards us and we had to avoid it and everything. we were damn shag lah. so they realised we werent progressing and thats when towing happened. but we were the few kayaks that was stuck in the middle and the other ships had to rescue the other kayaks so we had no choice but to head their instructions that was to stay close and keep paddling despite how tired we were. and we had to watch the sun set in front of our faces stuck in the middle of the sea and not being able to do anything. den like we kayaked from 4 till like 9 i think and the mother boat appeared and couldnt do anything STILL bcos they were full. they only threw lightsticks at us but we still had to keep kayaking. it was like cold and dark and everything. i dont know. that night was memorable. like we went close to death but i guess this was pretty much a very good lesson learnt. yeah. we all thought they would stop this expedition and i really wanted to give up already but i guess. we all continued in the end.

day5
today we tried kayaking off to indonesia. kinda scared that we might meet those strong currents again and yeah. we did. although it all started off well. (as usual) i was pretty much okay. we were singing away and everything. and den once again. we saw shore and we wanted SO MUCH to reach it and once again felt like we werent getting any nearer again. but i guessed we all pushed together cos we chionged like siao and managed to reach shore after damn long. and the tides were so choppy my gosh. den had like stupid grease all over. haha. when i reached shore i was so happy i tell you but i couldnt stand properly like totally just fell off my kayak. haha. den we actually werent at our destination so had to take a bus down to nongsa there our campsite. that place is horrible okay. their toilets have no lights and they have limited supply. den got so many weird bites on my leg. lol. another experience! haha.

day 6
service learning day. we went over to a school to play and teach them things. it was pretty much interesting over there. the pple were all so happy to see us and they were damn cute. haha. they were all so happy like jumping around like they never had visitors before it was kinda touching. and it felt great to just be able to do something for them. to make them happy for a day. some of them got soo close i guessed everyone liked that day. after that went over to an orphanage to help paint their house. so tiring but fun as well. i thought painting was fun but i guess it isnt!! haha. im glad i at least helped them and not free loaded them. heh. after that we had this mosquito beating comp. the mosquitoes there all damn big okay! it was fun though. haha. anyhow whack. but i only managed to kill ONE! haha. the record was 6 or 7 i think. heh.

day7
today we were suppose to kayak all the way back to campsite. but didnt mamaged to make it. i SOOO MUCH didnt want to kayak back you know. i hate kayaking now. i see the sea and im scared. lol. its damn arghh. bahhs. got convinced to kayak back in the end thinking that we could make it back to OBS. the current was finally in our favour DEN we met strong winds against us and STORMS. the rain damn painful lah! haha. den cannot see anything just keep kayaking. oh oh! that day i was so tired i fell asleep kayaking. i think everyone fell asleep kayaking. like all closing eyes already but just keep paddling. lol. so we couldnt make it back to OBS and had to stop at Changi there. rahh. i missed home.

day8
now to obs like finally. to enjoy our final journey. i was so tired of kayaking already. haha. but we all still kayaked back after all. haha. when we finally reached we were all so happy okay. no need to kayak anymore!!!!! hahah.

and im now lazy to blog somemore. i just think this course is quite an experience. we made history. the youngest fleet. haha. and the biggest. and the first to have had that kind of situation. i guess we all went through much. good job guys! we made it!
just glad i didnt give up though i kept wanting to. and need to thank my partners alot bcos i kept stop kayaking and they didnt like mai yuan and all. thanks man.
now i miss them. but really. i dont think im gonna kayak to anywhere far again. haha. nope. not in the monsoon season. and i hate that sea smell in our clothes. lol.
oh wells. im tired.

2007-11-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

blogging's such a drama.

and so i admit,
i'm a victim too.

2007-09-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

this is when i blog.
when im feeling a little down
VERY BORED and with nothing to do.
when i've lost the motivation to study
and im starting to get annoyed at myself.

its frustrating to stone and be so inprogressive with work.
when you're aware how much you are lagging behind.
and when the dreadful exams are nearing and
YOU JUST DONT HAVE THE MOOD TO STUDY.
and you're afraid of retaining. so contradicting.

i need more entertainment. more fun.
i need to do more crazy stuffs.
like how retarded i was in secondary schools.
and how we all had fun together.
and talked and crapped together.
today. its just superficial.
SO BORING.

life should be more interesting.
but just dont make me fall for anyone.
i think thats torturing.
maybe thats probably why my palms are like that.
and why fortune tellers are actually quite good at their jobs.

i want to go watch Ratatouille!

2007-07-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

happy birthday 2607! (x
i think it was one of the best days ever. we went over to cepheus house and had like damn alot of fun. i think his house is damn cool cos theres a karaoke room. ohmy... and den we had pizza and we sang songs and played games and and and... AHH! i love 26(:

and i'm here to brag too bcos I DONATED BLOOD.
im damn proud of it so you better be proud of me too okay! and i'd make sure you go with me the next time yay!

2007-06-18T10:46:00.000+08:00

famine camp is over! haha. oh wells. it isnt so bad i guess. was quite an experience. who ever starved for 30hours? i wouldnt unless i was "forced" to or "made" to do it. but i'm glad i went throught it anyhow without cheating in any way (:

and now i'm glad to say that 'm proud to be a BANGLA. haha. weird to see that i was representing bangladesh in the camp like how much we or i used to teased them. Never knew it was a ctry that was experiencing poverty cept that they are a whole bunch of good construction workers. no means of discriminating in any way. =x then again, so we got to meet our dear family members and i'm like the mute child. then there was the rest from AJ, cheryl-the blind child, cepheus-the normal adult who got aids later through organ dealing and gerald-the only normal child that became a policemen and had a hell hard time trying to catch those drug dealers. HAH. and then the VJ bunch felicia-the adult with a disabled arm, denyse-the normal adult farah-the child with hiv/aids and xinyun-our minister of manpower! lol. and of course our big mama DD who's always there with her nonsense and always looking after us despite her being the youngest there she was like the eldest amongst us.

felt hungry a few times and our lunch dinner supper everything was none other than.... GREEN TEA. haha. and so the second day we had to go collect newspapers and we finished like 2hours before the ending time so we slept at the void deck with all those piles of newspapers and clothes as our head rests. haha. and when we finally got back to RP they gave us much more stoning time. AT LAST it was 2 hours to the 30hour mark and there was this concert they invited eic and they're like damn pro. and we finally counted down to the 30th hour and got our burgers from burger king which didnt really taste good. hmm. haha.

ALRIGHTS. so we should always reflect after events like this.
we should really be appreciating everything we have now be it our good lives. we have good food good family and sufficient money. a warm home, a roof above our heads while there are so many out there that are striving hard to earn themselves a living and doing all those hard work and though how little they are given. it makes them almost the happiest person on earth having them. i guess we always take things for granted. when we're given so much we just want more abd more so when are we ever going to be satisfied with what we have?
if everyone puts in this little effort to help those out there in need we could make a big difference to their lifes. really.

2007-05-31T13:10:00.000+08:00

5 days 5 nights. of torture? maybe not. Okay. it wasnt as bad as OAC was. heh. strict but i guess they were reasonable lah. just lots of time limits. SOU as usual. lalala. They were trying to act fierce on the first day it was soo funny and then slowly somehow, the atmosphere got less tense. Our SIs were nice to us and so cute. lol. i love CHEYENNE. woots(:

DAY 0.
we had workshops and all and it was damn boring lah. i was feeling quite down cos everyone was having their holidays already and then we got camp ): but it wasnt that bad i guess.

DAY 1
we set off to LAC and had workshops! again. haha. and den we had high elements- rockwall. tried reaching the top but couldnt. and the rockwall was so smelly i tell you it was like sweat and saliva and birdshit smell. erkks. and worse still, we couldnt get the smell off. eeee. was spose to do the jump jump thing but it rain so we went to play games instead which was quite a headache and i keep getting caught smiling while doing punishments. bleah.

Day2.
second day at LAC! did cross wire and abseiling. i didnt do cross wire but i belayed and i think belaying is damn fun =D abseiling as usual was scary when you first put your feet there but slowly it got better and wheeee. down you go. yay. low elements- nitro crossing and the wall. nitro crossing was horrible cos some of us couldnt get across but everyone put in their best and i thought that truly showed our team spirit cos we didnt give up. and then again we had workshops after workshops. lol

DAY 3.
dragon boat rafting and sandcastle building!
whee. dragon boating was quite a rush and we couldnt do much. almost won the race but we got second. its okay(: Rafting was abit siann i was feeling so uncomfortable with that thing. eee. haha. we setted off the ecp from there and did our sandcastles. haha. we should have planned properly but at least things did turn out fine after all(: well done well done(x

Day4
SL! i thought SL was really thought intriguing maybe cos i havent experienced really dealing with the handicap before but it felt good at the end to be able to just accompany them, hold their hands and make them smile. and the performances on stage. quite amazing to see them so happy at the slightest thing. had some workshop and a slight nap till 9plus 10 before setting off on our land expedition.

DAY 5.
while we were walking to ECP we all kinda got high at first and den later we began sleep walking. quite funny to see how we all got so slow at reacting and even instructor yonghui had to repeat his question so many times for us to digest it. haha. took 6hrs plus and finally got to ECP. hurray(: and from there we had our usual debriefs before setting off to school again. Had nap time and den grad tea and all. i miss Cheyenne. ):

guess the ab camp was enjoying afterall. loves-!
hated the oily food though. so much msg the taste gets stuck on your mouth for so long. so gross. and those worms every morning. eeks. haha

ohwells. now i gotta start packing my lagguage. RAHH-

2007-05-20T09:35:00.000+08:00

i hate pw. rahh!

2007-05-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

ohmygod. let's all stop being emo and get mad and crazyyyy! whee.
seriously you should learn from me. i will set up a course on how to take retarded photos. =D i mean. they're the best memories cannn! you'll laugh at every glance. hah. im a clown in nature. maybe irritating or annoying. wups =/ let me know i'll tone down. (x

2007-05-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

OAC MEMORIES.

we always want others to understand us.
but have we tried understanding others?
have you?

2007-05-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

thought i blog since i havent done so in ages. whee =D
lets update matters. i went to msia for my netball match and WE WON. yay. though it was by a slight margin but it was cos we had limited trainings and we were short of our previous star player. hah. but anyhow. we won we won we won. heh.
went out with my darlings on friday. went back to cedar but unfortunately none of the tchers were around except for ms chng. RAHH. i didnt get to see ANG. )x we didnt get to crap with mr tan and and and. everyone else. sigh. went to raffles to get my mum her present. and den we went cafe cartel to eat. ohmygod. i think i should really cut down on my diet so when you see me around next time please tell me im fat so i'll stop eating so much!! OKAY? okay. =D thankyou!
ohwells. and then SCHOOL stuffs. i've been failing EVERY single test and i really mean EVERYTHING.i dont know why. even my latest physics common test. i'd better pass my chemistry and econs okay! i can forget about passing math. sad please. i should really get to mugging. nvm. i shall EXCEL in my mid years. hahaha. then again. i have limited time to study. shall make GOOD use of time. whee! heee.
i have a new resolution. add on to being happy everyday. i want to be happy everyday i dont care. i shall be nice and caring and friendly and everything else. (x though it might be hard lahhh cos im already so mean to that person. but he's so annoying i cant stand it.
and then i dont know. i wished my dad was a little more thoughtful towards my mum. if only.. hmmms.
HAPPY MUMMY's DAY!

2007-04-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

i have lots to do!!
i felt so stressed just now i broke down. rahh. so many things and no mood. now.. i gotta get my PI done by tmr. plus GPP. ohmygosh. and you knowwww. i've been failing every single test bad. 1/15 for GP, 2/9 for math, 5.5/12 for econs, what else. ): sadd lah. i wanna be high and happy.
but no company. boo.

2007-04-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

whee. since i have some time left before i leave for sgoon i shall blog! actually i'm late already but i wanna listen to my song first. yay. heh. FIRST. i shall apologise for not including my darlings in the to-do list but WAIT when i put kbox i meant with you guys okay! haha. so yw ah. i got think of you all wan okay. and i'm still waiting for our gelare and tau huay ): so many things to do. i've still got lots of work undone lah. but i'm feeling uber lazy as usual. i havent touched nuts for this weekend and i wouldnt have time later. but all i do is brood over it. lol. tmr is monday which means its a new week of school. gahhs. and ive got lots of netball trng next week so im gonna get busy busy. BOO.

now. the weather's super hot these days. its extreme lahh. like its either super cold or super hot. i cant stand it already. and you know last week's AI show made me thought of death. i dont know. i dont want the whole earth and everyone to die together. its so sad ): let me die of old age please. let me die not knowing im going to die. i think the countdown to the day we die is scary. esp when we know its coming. ):

SO RANDOM! =D

2007-04-08T00:49:00.000+08:00

KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
at least i got some reflections from that super expensive nine bucks movie. lol. quite coincidental after all these events i had to watch a movie that told me to keep moving forward. (:

and so i'm here to announce that i'm SOOO happy cos i'm done with PI. like finally. yayy! =D arent you happy for me too. hee. it's little things like this that you've got to find satisfaction in. and then life will be happy and joyful^^ of course unless you're in tj oac and all that work outs and tortrous trainings are like the GREATEST sense of achievement anyone can get. REALLY. (:

and its times like this when i start feeling fat cos i ate damn alot and without OAC trainings, i just don't get to lose all those calories. disgusting. let's see what life without OAC equals
-less muscle aches
-less cries of torture
-less pain
-less sadistic thoughts
-more slackiness
-more laziness
-less running
-less fit
-less sense of urgency
-less "NO GAPS!" and "YEAR ONES, BEHIND THE LINE"
i've almost lost the feeling of being pushed to the limits. and without OAC, you just dont get pushed to the limits. of course because i'm one lazy bum to start with so i wouldnt be pushing myself unless necessary. whaha. not a point worth celebration.

i realised my money's flew away and my hopes of getting my jacket and wallet and bag has FLOWN FAR FAR AWAY. *frowns. wouldnt it be good if it rained money or if i wake up tomorrow and i'm a thousand dollars richer? heh. i'm only asking for a thousand not like a million so i'm not being greedy so money god whoever you are please consider making me a little happier? =D

and now! i want to do lots of things.
1. go out with a FULL oac gang.
2. first intake cg 13/07 outing.
3. kbox
4. kickboxing again
5. sakae with best buddy
6. buy my classical guitar
7. dancing classes
8. study and bcome extremely smart

& I KNOW IT'S A WONDERFUL WORLD.

2007-04-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

it's a bad year.
okay. i should probably resign to being called a quiter. rahh. there's just too many regrets. too many mistakes. it's like i can't trust myself anymore.
first i gave up on tj AND tj oac.
den i gave up on AJ's odac
and i gave up on cheetah's cheerleading.
i gave up on AJ scholarships and council.
i withdrew from the guitar backstage crew last minute.
i'm like giving up on every single thing.
and netball trng today was not where it was suppose to be so i wasted half my day when i could have been helping out for the guitar concert. i'm super disappointed in myself already.
ARGHHH.

2007-04-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

A blog is such a useful tool to be emo. AWW. haha. okay. it's not like i'm depressed or anything. i can't find anything to really be depressed about. haha. unlike the past where everything just gets me down. that's disgusting cus now. HAPPINESS IS MY GOAL FOR LIFE.and that was my chinese compo. haha.
quite irritated with her. that cher. she keeps picking on me like i'm some bad student. so now i just cant be a good one in front of her anymore. probably cos on the very first day of school i got caught for playing cards and tadahh. first impression counts. the other. my pw group probably is the worsttt nightmare ever. but i guess right now i just have to accept and work with them. it might get better. all i can do is hopeee(: and the class. is quite alright. except for probably it being divided. but 'm okay with it. =D 've already got tonnes of regrets for this year. blame it on contemplating. like btwn tj and aj, now the odac thing i'm sorry i wasted on someone else's space. =/ and i missed aj scholarship and the alpha list. horrible rahhhh.

SPEECH DAY. was boring. i think it wasted my precious time i could have woke up a little later you know. anyhow. i'm glad i got to caught up with yingwah and had a little teeny weeny talk. yay. and hagen dazs treat from nigel and don. so sweeet of 'em. haha. we ordered expensive sinful stuffs. wups. hee. i want to go gelare tmr lahh! but i've got grrr cheerleading. and i want to go ben and jerrys also. ): pouts-

HOMEWORK. i cant catch up. like right now. i really really know i've got tonnes of work uncompleted but i just dont feel like doing. i still want to slack some more. and its quite scary that 2years is a terribly short time. nehhhs. so it's now or never.

2007-03-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

if i can get any worse off. my god. i can't believe how suay i am. such bad horrible things always have to happen on me and it's PW, it's ONE WHOLE YEAR. what the hell. let's just hope things get better. if not. there goes. )x

i realised i haven't blogged for ages and i dont know who someone mysterious might be spying on my blog like how we spy on others. haha. alot of things happened. not alot but it's quite sad now. cos i'm in AJ and i'm not adapting. actually i think the class is good but odac.. it's different from TJ. everything's different. i'm not even blendind in now bonding with them. rahh. i just want to get back to my crazy person in TJ. no company though.

and nowww. just when i'm starting to get fit with all that oac trainings. i'm losing it. i need to run!! and ever since i came back from the mountains, i've been eating non stop. ): and so i gained those horrible kilos. blergh. and we went fish and co just now. whee. =D

2007-03-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

im back from the mountains and i feel so gooood. haha. yah right. alrights. i admit i wasnt having lots of fun in the mountains. probably bcos of my aching neck and headaches and i even fell sick. but now. 'm missing it so much lah. booo. so now. it was the last time our full team ( except edward and michael) for first three months of tjOAC went on the expedition and conquered mount Stong and Ayam. =D it was tough i tell you. climbing up those steep slopes and all the steps here and there and rushing down the mountain slipping, falling, getting ourselves dirty and all that. but i'm really grateful of being in that wonderful despite all the tough disgusting trainings. it's been an experience i'll and everyone else i'm sure, will never forget. RIGHT? we went caving too and i was having high fever at that time but i guess it helped. after that i just kept eating nonsense and god knows why i recovered the next day. like i ate everything that could've probably made my condition worse but i got BETTER. muahaha. (x on the train back to spore was my bday. it struck 12 in the train and yupp. i think this bday is probably one of the best lah. heh. everyone made me this jar with messages from them. and when we got back to sg and to tj to wash up everything i'm glas i got back my high and crazy self and spent the last few happy moments with them. (: so at the end of the day it was goodbye. yupp. got back my phone but batt flat. charged it when i got home and i received like at first. 8msgs. den i came back again and there was like what. 19msgs. lol. most wished me lah. i was sooooo sad when i thought i didnt see my darlings' messages okay! haha. but i did lah. except.... amanda): den chow they all also never. but nevermind. best friend remembered and brother too. like finally. WHEE. haha. jansen too, shannon, yangyu,... lalala. so sweet =D and those testimonials. esp siew min's.. so touchy lah. but anyhow. THANKS SO MUCH EVERYBODY! (:

im loving you guys so much. =D

2007-03-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

i shall blog now since i've got time. went trekking on saturday. which was yesterday. at bukit timah. with 7 1.5 litres of water load. which is equivalent to hmmm. 10.5kg? my shoulder hurtsss! and my knees. are screwed. okay. its the right one. i can't straighten it. it's like it's pulled or something. i dont know. but i sure cant afford to be injured right before march xp. i'd kill myself. bleah. and i gotta pack the bag by wednesday. i dont know how on earth i'm suppose to get that done cos i still have to buy loads of things. rahhh. and i HAVE to get to the fbt fac outlet to get my shorts!!! ): can't imagine having to go AJ instead of TJ from wednesday on. TJ's been like part of me already. sigh. i should really stop complaining and brooding over this. i dont wanna hate school lah. then its gonna be so dreadful for every single day of my next 2years. ohmygosh.

2007-02-27T10:38:00.000+08:00

haha. i fell asleep super early yesterday like i think 10plus and only woke up this morning 830. ohman. but i woke up in the middle of the night hurting. and i was wondering why my stomach muscles was aching though i didnt do any sit ups recently and i realised it was probably cos i fell off the pull up bar yesterday. hahaha.
if you'd seen me fall you'd prob laugh your head off. cos as usual i did assisted pull up and adri helped me hold my both legs. and this time at my 5th pull up i lost grip and fell face down cos adri was still holding onto my legs. lol. dumb lah. so now i've got two bruises on my thigh (again) -.- and my wrist's hurting. maybe cos i fell and landed on my wrist. and my ribcage kind of hurts too. gahhhh! booo. i dont wanna have pull up phobia okay. and if i cant do inclined. im dead. =/ boo boo BOooOOOO.

2007-02-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

it's just this weird feeling i get all this while.

i can't help feeling down. the pae bash i practically got ps-ed by my classmates and i felt sad cos its like i'm leaving and then i dont know lah.i wanted to at least have some last moments there but i rushed down after oac and in the end they all left. if you get what i feel. but thankyou michael for giving me that warm hugg(: i wish i knew more fun people. poots =/ and thanks much to adri for accompanying me all the while even though his class was there having fun he kept me company and went home with me too. thankyou so so so so much! and my ex for i dont know. at least talking to me for awhile. heh. well den. i shall enjoy this last week!

haha. tmr's punishments day and you cant believe what my mind's saying now okay. im constantly contradicting myself and somehow this always happen when its trng. lol. like i'll be "i dont wana go for trng, im gonna die" and then after a while my mind will rebutt with like "okay. its nothing, i just gotta push myself and get it over with" strange i know. anyhow. i realise it'll be the last few trainings i have left and lesser time with my team. oh gosh. i reallly should stay in tj. argh.

AJ TJ! grr.

2007-02-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

had duathalon this morning. and won 5th position. me and shann. haha. i think i dragged him down cos i cycle damn slow but he run damn fast. he was like 2nd. and den i came back as 2nd last. -.- it was difficult to cycle lah! cos the bike was under gear 3and7. quite retarded actually i was trying to figure out the whole gear thing when cycling but chose the wrong gears still in the end! and there was this steep turn thing i did this WHOA drift thing. woohoo. okay. no i didnt. i breaked abruptly and almost fell. haha. wups =x but anyhow we got 5th position and got a medal. (but there was only 7 participants in all) hee.

alrights. its only one week left till posting i think. suddenly dont feel like leaving tj anymore. saw ajc's oac at duathalon this morning and i just can't imagine myself in there lah. but i kind of promised them that if i were to go to AJ i should join OAC so that we can have connections. but if i join oac i'll be missing the tj pple like mad cos they're like the best. BOOO. quite frustrating. i think i should have just convinced myself to stay in tj at the very beginning and not consider about aj at all. RAHH.

somehow i feel its so hard to get them out these days. everyone's busy. ):

2007-02-17T17:15:00.000+08:00

i didnt expect such a cold reply. NVM.
went shopping on my own. rather progressive.. haha. okay. so now im all ready for cny.
been thinking alot these days and i realise how much i'll be missing tj.
especially oac. how can i even leave OAC. argh. frustrating. i should have just left my choice as TJ. dumb.

2007-02-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

too late by now i guess.
how i wish i can be numb to trainings.
rahh!

2007-01-29T18:12:00.000+08:00

if you asked me. i really wouldnt know if im enjoying tj. BOO. im getting bored of the class i dont know why. that faggot's bloody irritating. and the other weird ones. argh.

lets start with!! OAC. haha. friday had intra house captains ball match. and our cg actually won two out of three matches. which is GOOOD. haha. except for that team who's sooo strong with the bball captain who's so fierce. gosh. anyhow. after captains ball. we joined in for oac trng. had ORIENTEERING. we walked like i think about 10km. started at about 6 and ended at 9. glucose helped super alot i tell you. i was high like nobody's business. heh. anyhow. once and again. it rained on us and we got drenched. erghs. as usual. so so! haha. when we were orienteering i figured my backpack was a hindrance so i pulled it up super high. wheeee. =D ok. and this morning. like every other monday mornings. punishments!! i reached school super early like what 635? haha. at least most made it in time at 7am. did 20 pumpings. and got to the track. first 2 rounds had to finish 400m in 1.45. which is like SIEOWW. but failed the 2nd round. only made it to 2mins i think. so they got us to do individual running. guys 1min45 girls 2min30. i had difficulty breathing okayy!. i wanna die already. and like i wanted to shit. bleah. but made it to 2min15s. okay. i've to train up doubly hard!!! after school went to try climbing that dumb ass wall but couldnt make it AGAIN. depressing i tell you. im gonna conquer it one day and laugh at it like nobody's business. ;D went to pull up bar to try. STILL COULDNT DO ONE. and i did only what less than 10 incline pull-ups. gahh. so we did slight bit of hanging. and push-ups. oac's hot man. love it =D all this's gonna pay. we're all in this together. yay.

econs test was shit. i wouldnt expect myself to pass. just give me a few marks and i'd be happy even if its just one or two. heh. i think im sucking at econs cos i catch no ball. irritating. booo. and now there's this stack of tutorials waiting for me.

and i realise im missing my darlings.

2007-01-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

okay. i dont know if it's been good or bad. i mean it started well but got off quite hrmm. maybe cos i got really tired the last day and all. i dont know lah. quite frustrating.
tmr's vj's mass dance. probably crash it. 'll ask around first.

2007-01-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

no need for anymore countdown.
it's TOMORROW! in 9hours time my alarm clock will be ringing. sheeeesh. and 'm seriously regretting tj now i dont know why. if it doesnt turn out good i'll be killing myself. AHH! and today... we went to xian's house meet up. gathered and like.... budget lah! cos all of us are BROKE. but i guess it was by far the best moment together. (: but they got emo lah. anyhow. we played mahjong and got high. heh. i think everyone cant stand the loud music but there's something wrong with my ears. its never loud enough. the louder the better! hee. i won two mahjong games okay! whee(: and den we errr. i dont know. hahahaha. and we're gonna miss each other so much that we're gonna meet up tmr after school. yay

so now. i should just accept that dumb fate. but it'll be good!

2006-12-30T12:15:00.000+08:00

okay. countdown. 3 more days till school starts. ): arent you sad that it#s nearing! it means i have to leave the house super early like catch the earliest 854 i think. sigh. and it means new environment and and and. i dont know. it might turn out bad. i might not like the place and the long journey there might be torture. arghh. and i cant have my minimum 10 hours of sleep (i dunno why i've been sleeping at 12 and waking up at 10, 11) boo. and i wont be able to spend the whole day on youtube watching that korean variety show xman. ARHHH! and i wont be able to spend time with my darlings! no more shopping, no more k-ing. no more no more no more. =/

sigh. and then those pple who are not gg for first three months, they will have so much more time at home lah. unfair unfair. and soon we'll have to be studying and writing and using our brain again. ohmygosh. scary.

past few days spent at home stoning away and resisting all the temptations to eat. boo. i should have enjoyed my last few days of holiday den stone at home! bahh. nvm. one last day. 2nd january. occupy me pretty please!

2006-12-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

firstly.
i apologise to anyone i have insulted and was mean to yesterday! i was high. and all the swearing and everything. it's meant for pure fun. RIGHT YINGWAH? heh. thats what too much chocolates do i think. getting me high. so now i realise when i'm high i'm up to nonsense. and i'm sorry that i was irritating and annoying like always. hee. wups =x

now now. i'm online and blogging because this is the only way i can divert my attention to something else rather than all the tempting chocolates, biscuits and cookies and sweets and chips and ice cream and tarts out there. it's dangerous lah! i need to lose my flabs man. and so! i shall go jogging later in the evening. hopefully it stops raining. whee!

ANNOUNCEMENT! TODAY I WOKE UP AT 9AM. LIKE THE EARLIEST SINCE I DUNNO WHEN. HAHAHA. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I GOT INDIGESTION FROM YESTERDAY'S FOOD AGAIN I THINK. THERE'S LIKE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY STOMACH LAH. ITS GETTING POOR IN FUNCTIONING. ERRRGHS.

oh. and i've got the sudden urge to go dancing!!!! eeeeks. somebody tell me. is amore still on?

2006-12-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

I'M BEING SHIT MEAN.
AND F HIGH.

SO DONT STOP ME.
RAWWRRRR.

2006-12-26T11:02:00.000+08:00

the best christmas. or not?

merry christmas (:

though its one day late but i havent found the time to blog recently. and also, not been having the mood to. heh. okay. christmas is very christmas this year because of the partys we had and all the going out. i should be feeling blessed that my family celebrates christmas every year and countdowns and all. maddening. and i should be convincing myself that the family celebration was good enough no matter how much i wanted to be at the other party but my mum didnt allow it. and how much i was just hoping that on our taxi journey home she'd say "okay lah. let you go." and den drive down there. or hoping my brother would at least help me or anyone else. okay. so i should stop feeling all gahhh about the whole thing. yes yes. i'm happy enough with my family celebration. ;D i hugged everyone. haha. and i'm still gonna be hugging everyone. yay.

okay. now i need help. when you see me and im moody, shake me and make me go high. thanks.

anyhow. yesterday i watched night at the museum. which is a super entertaining show. MUST watch okay. its worth the money. cos its like the first movie i didnt feel like i needed support in the cinema. and that proves it's so engaging and trapping that i was entertained thoughout. hee. after that we went to gardens for dinner and bowled. 'm getting bad lah. whatever.

today 'm suppose to go out with them but im feeling lazy and the stupid weather. its raining again lah. so i dont know. haha. 'm meeting them at three instead while they go have fun and walk around themselves first.

2006-12-20T11:24:00.000+08:00

its picnic over at my house today! yay(: woke up and the sun was SHINING! like woohoo! but i dont know if it'll last till tonight. hmmm. today'd be a good day to shop though. poots. lets see what i got to get.
1.puma shoes
2.jacket
3.heels
4.slippers

and i guess with all that all my money will be spent away! i'd better save the remaining. if there is any left. haha. i've gotten myself like three tops and a skirt already. gahh! i want like floods of money. den i can go shop shop and buy my black mango jeans and electric blue shirt and the bloosoms shorts and and.... SIGH.

anyhow. i think you suck.

2006-12-18T22:33:00.000+08:00

i walked in the rain soo much. stupid droopy weather. it somehow just makes me feel lonely and cold. erks. it didnt help having this couple right in front of me being all huggy and everything. and definitely not when you just had to call me up. TO SELL YOUR FREAKING TICKETS. nvm. i dont care you all already. (:

presents presents! i need to buy myself things. and for others too. ohmygosh. hurry hurry!!

2006-12-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

okay. this is an open invitation to EVERYONE.
there'll be a xmas 'picnic' at my place on the 20thDECEMBER 3pm.
you can come earlier if you want. just give me a call.
it'll be potluck so everybody has to contribute food! if not i'll throw you into the pool.
and since it's a xmas thingy.
please bring presents along. for everybody if you're nice cos basically me yingwah and eugenia and xianglin got presents for almost everybody.
and we're sorry if we leave anybody out but yahh.
please bring presents so than got xmas atmosphere you know!
it's the joy of giving.
(:

2006-12-17T01:09:00.000+08:00

down to TJ took an hour. thanks best friend for accompanying me there despite not having slept for i dunno how many nights. hmmm. but someone's gonna be rich lah. boo. i want a job! so i wont go out and spend so much and instead go work and torture myself and earn money and feel good so i can go crazy shopping like to the mango sale and buy anything i like instead of restricting myself. boo. and buying new shoes cos my mum uses my shoe. BOO her. she never ever buys stuff for herself lah. it's irritating. i want a shopaholic mummy so she wouldnt be thinking that i'm spending too much and be more genorous by giving me more money to shop cos she should know better that i take after her. but my mum is unfortunately not so. gahh! you know what TJ 'd better be fun if not it wouldnt be worth the freaking long journey. so it'd better be good. boo.

i hate this stupid stomach of mine. its like indigestion or what but it just keeps making me feel like eatnig more even though i've eaten alot cos there's this like growling feeling that just makes me feel like eating to stop it feeling so.... weird. it's like a reflex action you know. making me fat. errkkks. i wanna go pooling. i wanna go watch movie but i only have fifteen bucks to survive for the rest of the month. i dont know how my money flew away but it did. AHHH. plus all the bowling and everything. it's gonna KILL lah. gosh.
anyhow once again. i'm sorry.

2006-12-16T02:20:00.000+08:00

this is what happens. you listen to too many bad remarks and you just naturally get influenced by it. misled maybe. and this is where trust comes in. and how nice a person you can be. i know its wrong. i know how freaking ass mean i am. and yet im still doing it. cos i dunno why but i'm just feeling irritated. maybe it's cos of too much i heard. too much thats happened. i dunno what the shit 'm suppose to do now lah. but all that you're doing is just pissing me off further cos i think you really need to get some senses knocked in and that thing that runs in virgo-s. i can't stand it. argh. and this thing that runs in me. i dunno. it's bad. i should learn to change it.

2006-12-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

tj aj nj?
WHICH!
argh. this is quite irritating.

2006-12-13T23:32:00.000+08:00

yayy. job hunting failed. but anyhow. i just want some temporary job can someone please get it for me? )x okay! me and brother went pooling. at paradiz. again! haha. i won 3 games! brother won 2. i think. haha. i won cos first game he got the white ball in with the black ball. second cos he hit in the black ball in the middle of the game. third 'm not sure. but i think it's some foul. haha. hey! but the last game i was spose to win. but he won it in the end cos the white ball went in with the black ball. gahhs. so 'm not that shit lah. dont care. haha. (: and we went toys r us. and spent like i think half an hour there hearing the polar bear do its rarr rarr thing. i felt like getting it for the two rarr-ers. yw and manda. gosh. n den with the robot thingy that kept shaking its booty retardedly. haha. but 'm high =D as usual.

tmr's results!! =D 'm going out with twin and kavin and eugenia! sushi lunch and movie. yippeedooodledeee! haha. my friday's empty.

SOMEONE ASK ME OUT!
i need to shop for everyone's xmas present.
'msorry. i know i'm mean.

2006-12-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

okay. just hung up the phone. (: 'm gonna start blogging about my SUPER crazy day so beware! haha. yayy. today was suppose to be like sgoon grdens club day. go bowl den pool there or sth. but ppor kavin got food poisoning which turns out to be i think stomach flu lah. den he couldnt make it. so we had our back up plan!! bowled at marina and i got two strikes. eugenia had the highest score! yayys. i admit i was abit crazy today but hey! i brought to you all laughter and fun okays! like woohoo! haha. yay. today rocks. =D

anyhow! i was in my bro's cap and acting hip and all. cos i think im damn cool so i became a guy but my chest betrayed me. ANYHOW.i became xianglin's boyfriend but i think she dumped me in the end. she very leng qing wan lah. wanna dump only dump. haha. but she didnt allow me to hug her okay! ohmygosh. so sad. her boyfriend so cool den she still so cold. eeyer. went to esplanade to eat. and to the roof terrace to celebrate nigel's bday. (once again) haha. and he ah! go put the strawberry icing thing or whatever shit on my hair and it became sticky and sweet smelling. if tmr the ants crawl to me i'll kill whoever's guilty of it PERSONALLY. haha. okay. den we took a maxi cab and the nice taxi uncle gave 6 of us a lift to paradise for meter fare plus 4 more dollars. hoho. nice little uncle =D played pool and we went high again. maybe i should train up. gahhs! yummy.

you know what.i got headache. shall sleep.
NIGHTS.

out with brother tmr! (:

2006-12-11T13:14:00.000+08:00

i wanna go kbox again and sing all those crazy songs with weird mtvs! like there'll be this fugly looking woman with REALLY HUGE hair like curly curly pong pong one and she'll be like what walking aimlessly and den the camera just takes different angles of her to act to the dramatic effect and TADAHH! a stupid mtv is filmed. one day! 'm gonna be a director of a weird mtv too. and 'm gonna be taking down YOU!. haha. give me feelings! ling gan!

now! i've got a new hobby. maybe i'll grow up to be a professional photographer and like go around the world taking pictures and my pictures will be OH so nice. whaa! i love that pro little thingy okay! oh my gosh. someone should get me that camera next time. i want i want i want! it makes all of us high like ALL of us which includes me and i dunno about yingwah but her guy got her into this porn shot and best friend got a little high and tipsy. and baba started taking my ugly small eye and and nigel the birthday boy whose birthday isnt here yet. hahaha(: i love everyone lah. yay.

now now. if you would like to call me out please do. but so far 'm only free on hmmm wed and fri and the weekends and next week unless i get a job then you gotta be going to town to help me out in those surveys. and maybe im going out with brother on wed. im not sure yet. haha. yay. and on the last week of the holidays i'll be working for fbt warehouse like selling shorts. its gonna be fun lah. i love yay! haha. i'm like typing without looking at the keyboard and i think its damn cool because im like getting pro hahahaha. yay. i can type. can you? i doubt so. haha. cos brenda's the best in the world. dont deny if not i'll chop you into a hundred pieces and throw you into the singapore river. (x

okay. a note of warning. i'm sorry if i got a bit of mood swings, if i'm a little high low. sorry. and sorry cos i may get a little ah lian-ish and chor lor. i dunno why but im getting chor lor these few days. just look at me and smile okay. and go crazy with me. just go crazy.

shake shake shake! shake that booty! let's get dancing. pump it!!
blast the freaking loud music and dance with me!
woohoo!

memories dont fade.
they stay in your heart forever.

2006-12-09T14:22:00.000+08:00

okay. i'm feeling good now.

woohoo.

now i must be back to crazy.

2006-12-09T13:36:00.000+08:00

at the end of the day
there's only one person to blame.
me, myself and i.
for being so foolish.
and stubborn.
for not letting go.
cos its the past.
that are only meant as memories.
and not to be retrived.
hopeless.

if 8th was suppose to mean something.
if you even remembered.
if you ever cared.

sometimes the heart lies.
thoughts misleads.
and feelings fool.

2006-12-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

it's just you.
and there's nothing i can do.

2006-12-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

okay. im so f bored im gonna blog retarded stuffs like dumb stuffs that will not interest you but anyhow you better read on like cos how on earth can brenda toh yi ling ever got boring huh! 'm like the most interesting person on earthh mahnn! haha. den once again im gonna go on about how i'm MYSTERRIOUS! and you can never get me.
BCOS I'M PISCEAN!wahaha

this is so nehneh i cant believe im stuck at home with nothing to do. tonight's MOS. and and. that dumb JIANRUI like ps me! i cant believe it. so ass lah. he's gonna die. BOOOO. i have no ass idea what 'm suppose to do now and its all HIS fault. so if he EVER reads this he'd better be feeling uber guilty now cos he's hurt the all-so-great BRENDA. okay. i realise i have been infected with baba-ness. probably due to all the nonsensical talking. aiyoyo. but he so poor thing fly away already.

okay. come let me tell you more about the mysterious me. hahaha. i have my own WORLD and you know i'm in it when somehow you talk to me and i just nod and go orh and like stone at you and stare stare den after a few minutes i will realise that i heard nothing of what you've said and den i'll ask.. what did you say? hahaha. okay. yingwah and eugenia knows this trait of me best. haha. esp yingwah when she's talking to me on the phone and im using the comp i'll be like dragging my huhhhhhhhh. and den she'll be quiet. cos she knows im not listeing. hahha. :D and otherwise. you may be talking to me about your story and all this and den i'll suddenly ask another question thats totally out of the topic or i suddenly talk to someone den you nkow that i'm not listening to you. haha. like eugenia who tried to talk to me in changi airport and i just ciuldnt get anything into my ears. and if you happen to notice any of this and before you would very much like me to concentrate on what you're saying, do this. SHAKE ME!!!hard and shout and scream and say BRENDA! LISTEN TO ME! ahh. see you learn something new today from brendified.blogspot.com hee. =D like during lab lessons esp chemistry yingwah 'll be talking to me and whatever question she'll be asking me like WHAT COLOUR's your ppt or what to do ah? i'll just keep saying i dunno thats bcos im not listenign to you and den you must shake me once again. heh.

next next! i realise 've got tonnes of stuffs to do like xms present shopping and and writing of grad letters. ohmygosh! how. but 'm lazy. boobahh.
tonight better be crazzyyy cos i dunno what 'm gonna do if i get depressed. den again he isnt worth shit.
WOOHOO! 'm starting to feel my cramps.
bad sign.
ohno.

2006-12-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

okay. now i know. i think pointys will seriously spoil your feet. damn shit lah. its PAINNN like crazee okayy. 25 bucks for torture. mad. i bought quite some stuffs today. i felt like i spend alot. i think i did. my 40 bucks in my wallet's GONE lah. i dont know where it flew to. anyhow. this is soooo nehneh. i shall not go out anymore. SHIT. i forgot there's kbox. ahh. what the heck. BLEAH.

tmr 'm gonna high high high with jian rui! whee. and later even higher and higher until i reach the highest and jump into the big blue sea. watch me. =D

2006-12-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!
okay i'm quite low.
f boo.

2006-12-02T12:11:00.000+08:00

okay i can conclude that i have lost interest in korean dramas.
i'm taking a SUPER long time to watch gong lah.
and somehow i think it's damn boring.
i used to be that kind that will watch disc after disc and not sleep. but now its like haha. i cant wait to stop watching. =x dunno lah! it's boring. and i keep getting distracted. like right now though it's playing, im blogging! haha. boring boring. BOO. maybe cos gong's boring. or maybe cos i've watched like shots of it here and there. gahh. whatever it is. hee.

let's see. next week's gonna be busy. picnic, kbox, maybe MOS, blah blah blah. YAY (x

2006-11-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

went escape with karmun eugenia and fionana today! =D waited for them in the morning and called nana who woke up late and made us wait for her at the mrt watching those empty trains passing by and mun mun listening to her favourite indian lady making the announcement with that weird BOOM at the end of this word that i... dont know what it means. haha. (: den we got touchy (okay. i mean I) at the gong song. =x its jut STONABLE. haha. den its like you stone at the mrt track. and there's this signboard in front of you that reads "value life. act responsibly" so.... fast forward till escape. it was scorching HOT today okay. i'm burnt now. its just red lah not pain. BUT NO WORRIES cos i ATE sunblock. haha. yes ATE. my mumm made me eat some capsule that's suppose to errr. sunblock? whatever. haha. i sat like 6 rides i think. almost everything wasnt operating. like pepsi revolution, invertor. i dont know. everything dangerous. so everything is like play safe now i dont know why. dont care. i got food stuck in my tummy and it STILL didnt wanna come out with the help of all the tipsy rides. so GROSS lah. the whole day i just felt like vomitting but nothing comes out. GAHH. and escape is super pathetic i dont know how it's gonna survive. sheesh. i'm not going back there. even with the $6 offer.

2006-11-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

2006-11-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

okay now now. to make things clear and simple. DO AS I SAY. if you want your xmas present from brenda toh. tag "I WANT MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!" terms and conditions apply though. (:

i went to do my hair today! the woman straighten until friggin pain lah. she was like pulling my hair out by its strands. and i had to like hide my pain. lol. it's weird. you know i have lots of white hair. but my white hair are only white at its ends. boogahh. weird.

you know what! 'm hungry now. like hungry hungry. but i've to lose my fatty fats lah. so yes. 'm gonna get back to my past man. bleah!

2006-11-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

went vivo today. but i didnt manage to buy anything. i saw a nice pair of shoe but they didnt have my size so in the end my cousin got it. danm sad. i wanna shop real bad. for my shirt dress thing and thights. i wannn!! but i have NO money. so im pathetic. better settle everyone's xmas present first. if you want one, please tag my tagboard. haha. (:

i tried packing up my room but it just got messier. cos i dont know what i can throw and what i cant. pek chek lah! tmr i shall pack my drawers. and clothes. yay. you know i went to jog just now. after i dont know how long. lol. i only ran two rounds. and my legs are hurting already. wups=x hee. tmr im gonna do my hair with mummy. wednesday im going out with them to escape. thurs i dont know. friday i dont know. haha. next week's gonna be packed i think. i might get a job. bu zhi dao!!

2006-11-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

i feel like an ambassador for the yellow ribbon project already. im totally totally on their side now. and its only cos of today's nice lil visit to the prison. (x i like i like!!
heh.

FORGIVENESS.
what i saw today wasnt what was usually potrayed about the prisoners on tv. something more real. i saw sorrow in their souls, i felt sad for them. for just a wrong step could lead to a whole wrong never ending journey that brought them to where they were now. a small mistake can bring about big returns. i saw souls trapped in bodies of tattoos. unerasable tattoos. that will always remind them of their past. that hurt them. these people were not only just trapped in enclosed areas, they were trapped in their mistakes and all they seek for is your forgivesness. i guess everyone needs a second chance and with our support and acceptance, we could make their lives change for the better.

the prisoners are actually trained to work and they're like talented bunch of pple lah. their voice is like tonnes of times better than singapore idol? haha. mesmerising. really. i think their tattoos are what really makes them you know.... bad. so today. i swore. i'd never get myself a tattoo. (x and i'll make sure i'll not make mistakes. and yes, treasure everyone around me cos not everyone is given that sort of blessing. =D

2006-11-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

alrights. i just submitted my PAE form in. i dont know whether i made the right choices but i dont care already lah. we'll just see where i end up at. and most probably i think its TJ or AJ. i dont know! here goes.
v sci
v arts
n sci
t sci
a sci
sa sci
ny sci
m sci
c sci
a arts
ny arts
m arts

quite weird cos this time i didnt have mummy to help me choose unlike in pri6, mummy made all the decision for me. i'm a big girl now and ive gotta make my own decisions. yes yes. RIGHT. haha. i may end up at the wrong place. whatever.

YESTERDAY! i got home really late thats why im stuck at home today bcos im somewhat "grounded". but i still have to go out for buffet dinner at that dong dong dong place. haha. 'm gonna get uber fat lah. what to do. ahhh! okay. so you see. yesterday! i went out for like back to back movies. marathon. uh huh. nope. lets start from prom day. prom! went to jean yip to have our make over. our very very expensive make over that cost us a hundred and five dollars. had on fake eyelashes. and all. this is what we became.

and den! we set off to xiang's hse to change and all. we were like late. we thought we were very late. but we werent. so yayy! haha. manda's very very nice daddy sent us to school and we saw pple at foyer. PHEWW! haha. took pictures here there everywhere and prom started. so i shouldnt have thought that our prom would be a blast. and i expected so much out of it. spent like 300 bucks on this night to let it fall way below my expectations. unglam. bad results. boring. so little pple danced. i dont know why. high but not high. very very saddd! argh. after prom. xb came in a cab to pick us up to chalet. i think aloha is so much better than costa sands lah. yes. so when we got off the cab we got weird stares. cos we looked WEIRD lah duhh. damn awkward okays! like wrong place. haha. den we ran to the room to get ourselves changed out. but we didnt. lol. we couldnt bear to take off that oh so espensive make up lah. and i just wanted to enjoy a bit more of for once i look okay feeling. heh. so we took like tonnes of pictures like this

and just sat around till we finally got convinced to change out. my hair had like a freaking difficult time. chow helped me entangle it at least. though it hurt. haha. but thanks. (x you shall see.

BEFORE AFTER

convinced now?

so we changed and set off to the beach. sister called me and we chatted. and chow and bestie talked to me and nigel was complaining about all his mosquito bites and refused to sit but finally did in the end. lol. den came along benjamin thats always so so so crazy! gahhs. in the end. we left them alone and i was cheated that we were gg to the other side of the beach but ended up in the chalet. talked some more den they came back and guess what. i fell asleep. which is damn retarded. eeeks. when i woke up it was like 7. couldnt find her till evan told me she was outside. and apparently. in pain. apologies to yw if i offended her. =x aha. after that we were suppose to go out but chow had band stuffs on at TJ so we decided to go home sleep first den meet later. met at 3pm PS, watch casino royale. thanks to nigel and ken that we got $2 off out tickets (: whee. so the show was not bad. im not an action pack movie lover so yes... haha. but its kinda sick that so many pple died. for no reasons. they can just kill like i dunno what lah. and den and den! came the torture chamber and yw got so high she started whacking me like crazy it seemed like she got turned on. (basically it was the part where bond was getting whacked at his..... you know) lol. okay joking. she just found it funny. haha. sad sad. anw. it ended like all 007 movies. -.- OKAY! den baba had an extra free movie pass to happy feet so i joined him. and his family. which was kind of weird. yah. haha. i think his sister is cute. =D they are so similar lah. oh man. good for them (x happy feet was weird. cos it was like a cartoon musical with bad music. haha. but it was cute also. just that the adult penguins were ugly. they should make them cuter lah. but i guess they wanted it to be more real den cartoony so den...... yes yes. it was funny at a part with all the amingos. whee(: after happy feet this gay wanted to go esplanade so we went and thus i got home late. so mummy was angry and im grounded. SOMEHOW. only for today i think. (: hee.

brenda's COMFORTABLE to be with!
agree agree? =D

2006-11-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

it's been a high-low week. i've been high and low and everything lah. it's all o's and YOUR fault. you see you see. i havent been FREE since o's. i havent had my proper sleep and i havent had a proper rest and like you know slack at the sofa and watch my gong. NO TIME. not even the time to blog about nonsense. but that's cos i'm lazy. aha.
there's still my notes and worksheets and all the draft nonsense doodlyy paper piled up at that corner. and i have shit nuts idea of what to do with my textbooks and files and everything else. so wasted to throw away lah. alrights. i shall MAKE myself tidy up my room one day. den it'll be empty and nice! that day will come!! (x before xmas. yes yes.

right now. im DEPRESSED. okay. i realise prom is a waste of money. just for one night of glam. gahh! but it's a once in a lifetime experience! all for the nice memories! (x get back to being depressed. i have NO MORE money to shop for myself. yes. damn sad lah! i only have money to be nice and buy presents for all my nice nice friends. which will take up quite a sum. or everything that i have saved up. practically. very sad very sad. but nvm. its the season of giving. and its a joy to give. and of course to receive as well. :D i dont lie. heh. im gonna make each and everyone of you smile. thats if i dont get lazy again. heh. ddfskdngrwhgbejgknisgf¬!

i need the money to shop.
kickboxing!
dance!
shop again!
and save up.

and btw. i'm school-less.
not here not there. )x
SAVE ME!

2006-11-13T12:58:00.000+08:00

okay. wups! i'm having mood swings.
the feeling of wanting to be left alone.
i feel so here there everywhere now.
dunno why.
i should just get to studying lah.
jealousy is the world's greatest devil.
it destroys us.
and it kills.

2006-11-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

i'm here to blog and somehow get into some english mood so that on the 10th, (is it even 10th) ah whatever. NEXT WEDNESDAY. i will write my compo well and ace my english paper. =D

let's see. ong and leong the lawyers said today.
woman are mulit-taskers.
oh no. den why am i not one? maybe im not a woman. haha. true enough. half male. that's why we enjoy each other's company and not get bored on the phone. quite amazing. haha.

i realised somthing today. that i'm super random. and its because everything to me is so surface and because i dont go into depth. so im random. like i will say one thing. and den say the other thing. just like how my blog is. its always jumping from one topic to another. and i never really got INTO one whole topic before. irritating. i dont remember myself like that when i was in sec1 and 2. i will crap so uber much about some dumb thing. maybe i should get some of that back to the now me. den again. that was disgusting. so i should just let it past and not care about it cos i'll just make myself remember some stuff again. but IMPROVE. uh huhhhh.

FRIENDS. so wonderful. haha. do you know how dreadful dependency is. its like a habit. a routine. repertoire of life. and one day it disappears. hard to adapt. but thats life huh. its got to be a skill. to learn to really be strong inside and stand tall, not caring about anything at all. but face it. if you have that pumping machine inside. you just can't help yourself but to feel unnecessay emotions. lets see. its like you have hands. and one day the hands are gone. rather. say you are used to leaning on this pillar. and one day the pillar's gone. you know what. it should be like this. learn to not expect too much. better still! learn to expect the worse. so whether or not you get it the way you want it to be. its still better than that worse. heh. (: we should all just not get dependent on each other. but im dependent on yingwah manda xiang er and eugenia and karmun and fiona already. one day if you were to disappear. i'd die. and i'd trust you wouldnt BEAR to see me in pain. RIGHT! heh.

TRUST! the key to any relationship. the key. just don't lose it.
DO I HAVE IT?
lol.
come on.
TRUST ME! =D

and one day.
you'll disappear off my life.
that day will come.

2006-10-31T16:22:00.000+08:00

okay. i have no shit idea why im online.
i havent done ANYTHING today lah.
okay. so after this. im gona mug. yupp. whee(:
i went to update my freaking friendster cos i couldnt stand the stupid football video.
so noisy lah.
haha. so i started peeking at profiles.
=D

lol. and went to read my past testimonials.
for no reason.
it's weird lah. i dunno.
bahh! =#

chem prac was okay!
it's the best prac so far lah.
i must get A1 for chem! =D
so what if i screwed up for physics.
im still gonna shoot high high up. heh.

yesterday was so dumb.
i should have stayed at home.
lala.
amanda's so into her brandon.
gosh.
maybe i should never sit like directly opposite them again.
weird weird. heh.

i think im getting random again.
I WANNA IMPROVE ON MY ENGLISH LAH.
but there's nothing i can do.
eeeeyer.

next week's written papers already.
and before we know it.
it'll all come to an end.
just 3 weeks.
hmmm.
so what am i doing here.
arghh.
BYE!

i rocker.
yumms(x